(sigh) He sighs.

I'm having a hard time getting into the groove today. My mind is somewhere over in Amsterdam. Thinking about my adventure has become a bittersweet passtime for me lately. It'd be fair to say I've been a bit of a bitch about readjusting to life in the states.

A large part of my problem is that I find myself disliking my job more and more with each passing day. I know I deserve to be making more money for the work I do and it's a bitter pill to swallow that we're not getting raises this year. Not even a cost of living increase.

Another issue that I'm dealing with is my drinking. It's getting a little out of hand. Not that I am in danger..... but a cool down will suit me. I think I've been drinking more after my trip because I really have been depressed about what I'm lacking. But drinking away depression is dangerous and stupid. I'm going to go sober for the next month.

Anything good happening? No. Not really. Not at the moment. Maybe around the corner.

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I had my "date" with Tom last night.
It didn't go as well as I'd have liked it to. I guess I'd built up some expectations for the meeting and they didn't pan out. Not that it wasn't nice to see him.... it really was. He just seemed to be a bit disinterested and I was struggling to keep the conversation going.


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I don't come around too often anymore. I should change that.

I just got back from my first trip to Europe. It was an amazing two weeks. Like a short lifetime..... I went to Amsterdam to visit Jason. It'd been almost 2 years since I'd seen him and I really couldn't wait. Jason is one of my favorite people in the world. He's charming and fun. Didn't even realize how much I missed him until he walked up to me in the airport and my eyes welled up.

We spent the majority of our time wandering the city and smoking joints. I was totally in love with the city. The architecture and the layout of the city are so old and charming. The people are warm and laid back. What I really fell in love with was the canals. They just took my breath away.

Lots of bike rides around town, sometimes in the middle of the night..... everyone seems to ride bikes.... lots of sitting and people watching.... lots of joints were burned down.

We also did 4 days in Berlin.
Berlin was kinda cool. Big and spread out.... it was like all 5 Boroughs of New York wrapped into one place. The juxtoposition of the old with the new, as well as the old and the blown up (USA! USA! USA!!) was jarring. It was hard to get a grip on the city in that respect. One building was over 100 years old and the next was less than 30.

Oh, and I met a man in Berlin. He is German and he lives in SF. I have a date tomorrow........

All that aside..... I'm still working. Thinking it's time to look for something new..... sometime soon.

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