I am a goofy-doofy guy.
Last night Ben called me and asked me to go meet him at the Mint so we could try the new Sushi joint that opened nextdoor (new managment - better food)... so I head down there around 6:00pm.

This is the thing about drinking at the Mint.... I have fun. A lot of fun. The regulars know me and so there is always someone there to chat with... and my drinks are always really strong, sometimes free and they seemingly have one ready just as I'm finishing the one I'm drinking.

So, Ben and I camped out at the end of the bar for a good 5 hours last night.... having an awesome time, laughing and singing and being drunkenly foolish...... and then it started.......
He started getting mushey.... touchy-feely (which is an Eric No-no when in public).... and I kinda froze up.... wanted to go home.... wanted to be alone..... suddenly I realize what is happening....

When someone who is kind and sweet expresses more than a passing interest in me I freeze up. I become painfully aware of my flaws in interpersonal relations.... I know that I lose interest.... I know that I feel trapped... I know that I lash out.... I know that I resent.

The question I keep asking is how to slow down this momentum we seem to have built up and just coast for a while. I completely adore Ben.... I just can't make it something more than pals right now and I don't want that to hurt him.

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