You'll Get Yours Yet..... However Big You Think You Are!

There are some things that I can not control. There are forces stronger than myself. There are things I will never understand and there are things I will continue to defy regardless of the results. These are a few truths I can cling to right now. Thats a good thing.
I'm not going to wake up tomorrow morning in Strawberry Fields. Somethings are real and there are going to be things to be hung about..... but I know that there is room in my beaten up and battered heart to love and to allow myself to be loved.

I love Jen. She is all that I admire in a person - She can make me smile the minute after I vow to frown forever. She lifts me up in small doses and understands me better than I realize.

I love Kevin. He makes me want to friggin' kill him.... but he is who he is and he never makes excuses for that. He allows me to exist in his world under the condition that I respect his limits. There is something to be said for that. I must remember that unlike me, he is quite satisfied with his life. I should be ashamed of myself for coming in here and pointing out all the flaws I see. There is a huge part of me that thinks he needs me.... but maybe he doesn't. Maybe he sees that I need him?

Josh, the elusive little cat that makes me see myself in a positive light.

Just a little crop of the people I love and who love me...... off the top of my head I also have James, Rene, David, Nick, the Chorus...... and somehow I must get past the fear that these people will care less if they saw how badly I am bleeding right now