Strange the ways of the world.
Spoke with Dad for the first time in months. I will not be shocked if the man kills himself. He is more lost now than he has ever been. The mistakes of his life haunt him and break him... he seems to live in a world of regrets.... and he has no energy or will to change. The way we mirror one another is a truely haunting phenom. My mother used to call us "Bookends" because we would sit at opposite ends of the couch watching TV with the same posture, expression and aura..... and here we are seperated by 3000 miles and many years of silence, yet very much in the same boat.
I don't know how to feel right now. I am not sad, I am not mad..... there is a bit of pity but I am unsure if that is for me or him.
Please god, don't let me be watching my life unfold before my eyes.