How many times will I begin by saying "It's late."?
Very strange day. Woke to the sounds of my roommate getting some cock. Got me to thinking about how I am in the sack. I tend to be a quiet lay. There is something to be said for good old fashon loud sex.... however, there is a time and a place. What you have to consider when letting out some banchee sounds of lust is who can hear you. Nobody likes listening to other people fuck..... (ok, some people do) No matter how hard you try to focus on something else it never works. You just keep seeing images of the screamer with his or her legs up on someone's shoulders.... So I laid in bed, thinking about the different ways to let them know I can hear them without yelling "I CAN HEAR YOU!".... I came up with 4 solid options.

1. Drop something heavy and then remain totally silent. They're bound to get paranoid that they are fucking the very walls down and calm a little.
2. Go flush the toilet. "You're having sex and I just took a dump."
3. Light a cigarette. They'll catch the smell and think about how good that after sex smoke is.... suddenly the train to cumsville is an express.
4. Make louder sex noises. Turn the tables. They will marvel at your tasteless sex habits.

It rained so hard today.... all I wanted to do was just listen to the sounds of the storm in a dark room. My mind has begun to dance around the idea of a story that I think I must tell. The faint outlines of a theme are becoming visible to me.... and in them I see the hurt I have inside, the grief I have for my friend, the revenge I wish was mine for the taking. It all begins to seem so clear and clever.... to live my dark desires on the page.... leave myself open for the light, knowing that the dark will have it's voice..... yeah, that might be safe.
Been thinking a lot about Josh's exit. I'm sad because I feel like he's gone already in some ways. I'm really proud of the boy though.... He's got a bunch of people here who love him to death and still has the balls to take on a new city.... unlike myself, who came to SF because I had nothing to lose.
One of my best pals is talking about moving out here.... Tim..... the most beautiful str8 boy in all the land...... Dove and I spoke today for the first time in months. I realize that everyone who leaves isn't always gone for good. It's comforting.