A strange little feature of the emotional landscape.

I'm not trying to impress anyone anymore. I'm too fuckin' old for it.
Yeah, I'm 21 days away from 30. It's freaking me the hell out and making me wanna pair down the amount of hassles and distractions in my life. It's making me look back with a growing sense of "where the fuck did I go wrong?!"...... and a higher sense of pride in the areas I've gone right.
So..... Much less time is going to spent worrying how you feel about me.
I've tried and I'm done.
Meet me halfway or don't bother getting off your ass.

Walked deeper into my own distraction.
Ian and I sitting up until 2am trying on wigs and hats in his roommates room.
Laughing!
I forget I can do that for free because so many people I know are afraid that they won't look cool.... and I understand the freedom of dropping cool to play the fool.

I just don't care anymore.
I'm getting old and when I play games I want them to be fun, not painful.

I can't worry about how I look when I can't face the mirror.
I can't try to see my reflection through your eyes.

"Someday.......... someday you'll feel bad that you're such a fuckin' bitch..... someday you're going to have to face up to the judgements you so casually dole out with your withering stares."

Just one of the many things I wanna say to no one in particular.....
along with.....

"Every moment you grace me with makes me that much more willing to die happy."

I'm getting older and I'm getting lonesome.

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