He's gone.
Jason is on his way to a new life in Amsterdam. I really am happy for him. That's not the kinda thing that happens to everyone and you gotta go for it when you have the chance. I'm really sad though.
In the last week all traces of intamacy were gone. He was staying with his ex and I guess that made kissing me too strange. So for all intents it's been like he's been gone for weeks...... I miss his touch already and I know it's gone for good.
So yesterday I go over to the ex's after work with a copy of "neverwhere" and a card. I give him the card and book, we smoke some pot and sit there..... and I realize there is nothing to say because we were so close to something bigger that didn't happen..... it was odd...... what could we say that wasn't just known? He knew I was falling in love with him. I knew he was moving on and regretted losing me...... (or maybe he doesn't)
So I watched Lord Of The Rings last night and slept off my sad feelings. I'm trying not to be gloomy but I've got that lonesome feeling eating me up.